The Hyperbaric Chamber of Growth
Last night was one of my worst nights and best nights.
My wife and I sat in bed and talked long into the night. Both of us were exhausted and needed sleep. But both of us has so much to say and to listen to in each other. This crisis in my life has drawn us so closely together we have been amazed. It has also pulled us so powerfully to God that my wife used the hyperbaric chamber analogy. I was so amazed that she used a sports analogy! Until I realized that she never even thought of it as a sports analogy. :-)
The things in our lives that used to be important but aren't have faded away so quickly we're amazed! Here's the radical changes we've noticed already!
Wow do we ever pray more! Constantly. We break into prayer during our conversations with each other often. It's like God pulls up a seat at most of our conversations and we're learning to include Him in them. He's right there. Today I read this powerful verse at the end of Numbers 7 where Moses hears the voice of God speaking to him. It sounded so conversational! That's what our prayer life is becoming. I just long to hear so much more from God. This morning I wept and wept asking to "hear" more from Him. So many questions I ask and although I sense His presence so powerfully at times. I feel Him literally "carry" me through some very dark moments. I still don't hear the answers to the questions that race through my mind and the fears that come like darts seeking a way through the defence of my shield of faith.
This sounds really selfish and I guess it is. But we desire people's prayers so deeply now. I can't tell you how much I long to hear people pray for me. Every time we meet with someone I want to pray with them. And there was one time when I went for a walk with some friends this week and we didn't stop and pray during the walk. All night I kicked myself about that! I missed a great chance! It won't happen again.
You know, we used to go through the flyers looking at stuff and dreaming of home improvements and the fun stuff we could get. Now when the flyers come they have no appeal. Window shopping at the store just has no appeal either. We're looking at all the clutter we have around our house and wishing we had the energy to clean more of it up and get rid of it! We don't need this stuff!
We sure are noticing people more. My wife watches a little bit of news and hears a story about a family that has lost a child and she weeps over them and prays for them with intensity that I've never seen from her before. We see the people around us. Really see them in a way that we haven't noticed their lives before.
These are radical changes that are happening so deeply in our lives. Never before have we been so swiftly changed at such a deep level! Bible school was like a green house of growth for us, but this crisis has been a hyperbaric chamber. Still, the pain is so deep and my symptoms are getting worse. The fears are everpresent too. Simultaneously, we love the work of God in our lives, but we would do almost anything to avoid the pain of this crisis.
Life is an adventure, a journey we travel. And God walks it with us - hand in hand if we let Him. Guiding, shaping, and molding us through the circumstances. I seek to journey more intentionally here.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
The Hyperbaric Chamber of Growth