Wednesday, July 27, 2005

What Multiplies Awe - The Unfathomable Love of God

Here I am in the hospital. I guess somehow I knew that it could get to this, but it sure has been a painful path to get here. Over the past couple of days I have experienced more pain than I have known was possible. The kind of journey you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. Yet through it all, God has done something in my mind and heart that simply must come out here. The story has shaped my very core thoughts on God and must be told.

C.S. Lewis says something about pain being God's megaphone. I'd have to "amen" that. God has certainly been speaking to me. Sometimes in silence. Sometimes in a still small voice. Sometimes in that megaphone. This week I've heard them all.

And what did He say? What one thing could God say in 3 different voices - so different, so opposite?

He said, "I LOVE YOU!" And it blew me away!

Let me explain. I've been reading the book of Ruth - over and over and over again. I can't seem to get over it!

It's the story of the most beautiful woman you may ever meet in the Bible. She radiates beauty in so many actions and words and attitudes that it makes your jaw fall open. Beauty that goes so deep it stirs deeply. God put that there and He shows it through as you read the text. Hardship after hardship makes her beauty shine deeper and deeper, til you think she's some kind of unnatural superhero character. She has the capacity to love unselfishly and wonderfully
so that you realize that God shaped and formed this love in her. How? Through the same 3 voices. Silence, still small and through the megaphone.

When God shows you how desperately He loves you throught the darkness, He blows you away. It gives you such a sense of awe that you can't but fall at His feet in adoration.

Psalm 107:43
Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the Lord.

Today is my birthday. 38 years old. Not a special number or anything. But to be surrounded by such supportive family and friends makes my life so blessed.

Today I am facing the most difficult physical challenge in my life. The odds of my survival are so small - medically and physically. But my faith in a God who speaks to my life in such powerful and wonderful ways.... Well... It fills me with awe!

On a prayer note:
I am calling out urgently for anyone and everyone who will pray for me.On Wednesday, August 3, I am scheduled to have my left kidney taken out and the large tumor


At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday DH!!!
By God's power I believe you will have many more.
You and your family continue in our prayers.

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
We luv you DH
And God does too!

Praying for many more!

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Dwayne! I don't think I ever knew when your b-day was, but I'll remember now... my grandfather and daughter are both celebrating today too!!
May the Lord bless you & make you a blessing to many in the coming year (and years).
Joanne D

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Twyla said...

Happy Birthday! *hug*

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Dwayne!!!You are such an inspiration to us all. So many lives you have reached through your journal. You have an amazing gift. Thank-you.
Have an awesome day!! I'm sure you have people praying for you from all over the world. You are amazing. Keep on having faith for HE will take care of you.God bless you, Janet, Ashlynn & Tyler

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Dwayne! It's great to see you back on the blog. The courage and faith you demonstrate really is a powerful witness to sustaining power of God's love for each of us as individuals.

August 3rd is on our calendar! Rest assured you will be prayed for by a great many brothers and sisters in Christ. We will do what we can to expand that number. P&L

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous beverlyjane said...

Dear Dwayne,
I am remembering you in prayer, today and always, being thankful for your gift of encouragement. August 3 is a big day...i know you will be lifted up in prayer by so many. Birthday blessings brother...and may you sleep well tonight. Thanks to you Janet, for continuing the journal. Love to you all.

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Brian & Corrina said...

Best news we've heard in a long time! Our prayers and strength are with you. Remember our deal, man! See you soon.
Corrina & Brian

At July 27, 2005, Blogger Blaze said...

Goad has interesting little things in life...=)
just as you'll be going in for the surgery, Leon will be coming in to visit.
kind of interesting how important august 3rd is coming to be.
i'll be praying for you and Leon says he will be too(and he never prays!). i've been updating him on your status and telling him to read the blog when he can. =)
hopefully the recovery won't be too hard on you after and that things will only get better - even if it is in small doses.

At July 27, 2005, Blogger Barbara said...

So good to 'hear' your voice again. Will be praying for you, and I have also placed you on our Church bulletin, and I will add surgery on the 3rd to that prayer request. May God direct the hands that are operating, and also keep you in His arms of love! I believe He has more for you to do in this world.

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was great to see you the other night Bro. Your always in our prayers, today our daughter prayed for you all through the day. She wanted to sing Happy Birthday for you again. You have a remarkable wife,your love for each other shines very bright.
Take care We love you alot!!
Byron Brenda & the girls

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Twyla said...

Psalm 41:3 (The Message)

3Whenever we're sick and in bed,

GOD becomes our nurse,

nurses us back to health.

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never met you Dwayne and this is the first time I have read your blog. Your faith in God and your acknowlegment of His love is unbelievable. Happy Birthday and I pray for many more years of birthdays to come. You can count on my prayers for August 3.

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dwayne, happy birthday

Kirsten and I pray for Gods blessings upon u on your blessed day and we also are praying daily for that "special" Aug 3 date.

Love ya man


At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If friends and family want to email you notes at the hospital in Saskatoon they can go to and click on "well wishes" that way people can keep in touch with you.

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Dwayne, May God continue to speak to you .... are prayers will be as you requested. Enjoy the birthday cake..!

At July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You don't know me, but I'm sure we've met. I used to attend West Portal, along with my family, but moved to BC about a year ago. My parents and sister and brother in-law (Terry and Holly) attend WP, so I've heard a bit more about your condition through them.
I just wanted you to know that we're praying for you and God's healing towards you and your condition. I've passed the message onto people that I know out here and to the pastor's of the Alliance church and other family and friends. So know that there are so many more people out there praying for you than you realize. You speak so powerfully through your blog, I know that it will reach so many who just need to "hear" it, whether they know you or not. Keep it up, and take care.

A friend in Christ,
Tanya Juneau (and family)

At July 28, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

a letter of love for my brother Dwayne,

I wanted to write and let you know how much your journey has made an impression on me. I didn't tell you this but when you began to get into physical trouble I 'adopted' you as my brother. I did not have a brother. You are now my brother and I am grieving for you like I should.

Almost every waking moment when I am not doing something that requires concentration I think of you and your family. My prayers go something like this...
-"God, what about my friend Dwayne?...."
-"Dear Lord, I beg of you to show your mercy to your faithful servant Dwayne..."
I have pleaded with him, and I have several times attemped to 'bargain' with him in an attempt to show Him how much I desire you to run the 'dusty road' again with me next year.

Many months ago I asked that I might have a better idea of whom Jesus was. Then it began to occur to me that Jesus has been revealed to me in your life. You resemble Him. Your compassion, love, and gentleness are some of the qualities I know Jesus has.

Thank-you for revealing Jesus to me Dwayne. I can get a fuzzy picture of what visiting with Jesus might be like. I am now realizing what is meant by the spirit indwelling in us and how this same spirit is used by God to speak through us. Yes God uses people more than I could possibly have imagined! I am learning, but only through your suffering.

I realized last night that I pray for your life here mostly from a selfish point of view, and from a concern for your family.
You however may end up leaving us and going to an amazing place that will blow you away. Kind of an ultimate holiday for the tired Christian. But enough of that for now. I cannot help but think of my own desire to have you grinning
your face off at your friends as you and teach about Gods mercy and compassion"Dear God, my mind cannot quite
do the math that enables me to 'see' the advantage of taking Dwayne from here!! What about all those people whose lives
you will be able to reach through his ministry tomorrow? What about that God?"

So I go deeper in my faith after my initial reaction to your sickness that has simply shut me down again and again. Do you remember telling me how trying to eat your supper on the patio was excruciatingly painful? I'm not sure how I responded, but inside I was shut down again, like someone just 'bluescreened' my computer. I am sorry if I went mute, I was in the process of 're-booting'.

I ask for the lessons to be learned for me during our journey, and I ask for a deeper faith, I ask for less selfishness and an ability to 'hear the voice' of the father when I am spoken to...and "Dear Lord, let Dwayne rise up in spite of my lack of a
deep, deep faith"...

I really get a sense that everyone in your circle of influence is being asked to go deeper in their faith. God is calling EVERYONE
that is touched by your suffering to 'get on our knees' and get to really learn to pray from the heart again, without ceasing beyond today and tomorrow. Lets all allow the spirit to move in us in a way that literally allows HUGE quantum speed growth in our lives.

Take it from me I know well the ADVANTAGES and OPPORTUNITIES that are afforded during difficult times. So let the prayers and tears flow, as we grow our faith and committments to each other and to the Lord.

I will see you soon brother. I will continue the journey that God has for me and I will continue to walk or run with you through to
the end of your pain. I will be faithful in prayer as I continue to petition God for your physical healing.

Dear Lord please let these words be only of you.

I have two passages for you and Janet to work through.
2 Corinthians 1: 3-11
Luke 5: 12-14


At July 28, 2005, Blogger Bruce said...

We'll be praying for you, and I posted a prayer request to the mailing lists I belong to as well.

At July 28, 2005, Blogger Big Chief said...

Count me on the prayer buddy! Happy birthday!

At July 28, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy 38th!

We're so thankful for you, for Janet, Ashlyn and Tyler, and the inspiration of being genuinely real -- Christians on a real planet with real feelings, real issues and a real relationship with Christ.

You are constantly in our thoughts and prayers, and that of our church family.

I missed your daily blog while you were at family camp, and I am thankful Janet shared from her heart as well. It's definitely a family's journey down an unknown road.

We will hold you in a special way before the throne of grace on Wednesday the 3rd.

May your sense of God's love fill the room. May all the hospital staff keenly know that Jesus' presence is there, and as they minister to your needs, may they come to know Him too.

G & B Guarnett

At July 28, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Dwayne
i so appreciate that you are inviting so many of us to walk this journey with you - your comments today made me think of something John Wimber said as he was going through tough times -he talked about how when you go into a valley at night where there is no artificial light shining and you look up - the stars are so bright they light up the whole sky - that is how it is when there is darkness all around - God shines brighter when you look up - i continue to pray that He will in many different ways reveal Himself to you - Happy Birthday - you are a blessing
walking with you

At July 28, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Dwayne!

I'm still reminiscing about the week of camp, and I just wanted to share a tidbit with you. I missed out on hearing your story in person and having the privilege of being at all the ministry times in the evening, but the one night that the youth prayed over you, was a night I will never forget.

I remember that I started to pray for you, and I don't really even remember what I said. But you looked up at me as I was talking, and your face was just beaming. You had a huge smile, and your eyes... well, let's just say, they were 'Jesus-eyes'. I've just never seen so much joy, serenity and love in one man's face.

Your complete surrender to the Lord seemingly removed all barriers, and I felt like I was standing in the presence of Jesus himself.

That moment has challenged me to pray differently, and to walk with a better understanding that the Lord is very real, very alive, and always present.

Thank you Dwayne for your gift of obedience and faith.

We will pray without ceasing.

Sandra Kary (and family)

At July 28, 2005, Blogger Brad said...

Dear Dwayne
Your expression of the Love of God in this Blog brings to mind a passage where Christ is expressing his Love for his Church. Its almost romantic how he is calling the Church to arise and come to His side.

Song of Solomon 2:13 - The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely.

Thanks for your amazing contribution to building and strengthening the church and your help getting His bride ready. I am quite sure Jesus weeps with you these days too.

Happy Birthday!


At July 28, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Dwayne,
Happy Birthday!
You and your family are in my prayers.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us through this blog. You are a blessing to us.

At July 28, 2005, Blogger Don Neufeld said...

Hey Dwayne,
I didn't realize that yesterday was your birthday. I hope and pray that you have many, many great birthdays ahead of you!!

I know that you'll be an encouragement and inspiration to the staff and clients at the Cancer Centre. There are many great people there.

Keep on fighting, Dwayne. God has a purpose for your life, especially now!!

God Bless you.


At July 28, 2005, Anonymous Jack& Olga said...

Dear Dwayne and Janet, our hearts ache for you, as we share in your journey of life. What a journey it is!. We are much in prayer for all of you,especially for your upcoming surgery. Thank God for the doctor who made that descision. As I was reading today's journal, I couldn't help but think of that Song "The God of the Mountains" which meant so much to us during our journey. I want to share those words of encouragement with both you and your precious wife Janet.

Life is easy when you are up on the mountain, And you have peace of mind like you've never known.
But when things change and your down in the valley, Don't lose faith you are never alone. chorus:
For the God of the mountain is still God in Valley, When things go wrong He'll make them right. For the God in the good times, is still God in the bad times. The God of the day is still God of the night.
We talk of faith when we are up on the mountain, But talk comes easy when life's at it's best, But in the Valley of trials and temptation, That's when faith is really put to the test. Chorus:

We trust these words will inspire you to keep on trusting God for a miracle. Isa:55-8,9. Jack& Olga

At July 28, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

May your journey through this be lightened by your love of God and thank you for allowing us to be part of this journey with you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you today, through the 3rd of August and on to a new and healthier life.

At July 28, 2005, Blogger Jeanette Wiens-Peckham said...

You don't know me at all, but my husband and I found out today that we are moving to S'toon. We are looking for a small but growing church...someone told us about your church so I looked it up on line. I have been very touched by the honesty displayed here; it's refreshing. Thanks for a glimpse into all of your lives.
Jeanette (blogger name Joelle)

At July 29, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep holding on to God, He has you by His right hand.

Praying for you in Caronport.

At July 29, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

May you continue to rest in God's loving embrace. I will be remembering you and your fmaily on Aug 3.

At July 29, 2005, Blogger Amber said...

I first was "introduced" to you a few weeks ago by Rebekah Friesen...our bible study group has been praying for you, and recently Rebekah encouraged us to read your blog. Your faith in the Lord is such an encouragement and your love for Him shines bright!! You and your family are in my prayers....May God continue to be very near to you in the coming days, and may you be encouraged that you are on the hearts of many.....even those people you don't even know!

-Amber Eidse
Rosenort, MB

At July 29, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Dwayne, A connection from the past! We are here to support you from a distance. We are requesting the church of your youth, First Baptist in Lloydminster, to join others in praying for you and your family.

Merv and Joan Loewen

At July 29, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Dwayne, A connection from the past! We are here to support you from a distance. We are requesting the church of your youth, First Baptist in Lloydminster, to join others in praying for you and your family.

Merv and Joan Loewen

At July 29, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy belated Birthday Dwayne. You are an amazing encouragement, and I am praying for you daily. Through your pain I know you are strong, because I have seen it in you. You have shown me to never give up hope and to always trust in God. I have always found peace with your smile and I know there is joy. Thank you and God Bless.

At July 30, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are praying for you Dwayne and family. We think of you and pray for you every day and will especially remember you Dwayne on Aug. 3rd, keep trusting, He will carry you.
I have been challenged in my relationship with the Lord because of this blog. thank you.

At July 30, 2005, Blogger zachary said...

Hey dwayne.
I havent seen or talked to you for a while, but I wanted to let you know That im keeping you in my thoughts and my prayers, and as are the staff at redberry. Be strong dwayne.

At July 31, 2005, Anonymous Steve and Lisa Harms said...

Happy birthday Dwayne..... don't think that these times of pain aren't being turned around to GLORIFY GOD in great ways!!! God bless you brother!!.....for you have refreshed the hearts of the saints (and others too)! I believe that one day in heaven you will be overwhelmed by seeing the fruits of your ministry these past weeks. You will be rewarded. Love, Lisa, Steve, Elijah, and new baby Harms


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